What Anxiety Really Feels Like – and Why It Isn’t Your Fault

Anxiety can feel like an invisible storm. One that you carry around in your mind and body even when everything appears fine on the outside. You might be functioning keeping up with work or daily life smiling when needed but inside it can feel like you’re fighting a constant sense of unease dread or overwhelm.

If that sounds familiar please know this: You’re not alone. And more importantly it’s not your fault.

Anxiety is often misunderstood. It’s more than just “feeling stressed” or “worrying too much”. It’s a very real response that affects how you think feel and experience the world around you, physically mentally and emotionally.

In this blog we’ll explore:

• What anxiety actually feels like

• Why your brain and body respond the way they do

• How therapy can help you find calm clarity and relief

  
  

What Anxiety Really Feels Like

Anxiety can be difficult to put into word, especially when it doesn’t “look” like anything from the outside. You might seem calm capable or composed but beneath the surface there may be an internal storm brewing.

You may feel constantly on edge like something bad is about to happen even if you can’t say what or why. You might overthink conversations avoid certain situations struggle to relax or feel like you're not truly present in your own life.

Sometimes anxiety is quiet. Other times it’s loud. It might feel like:

• A racing mind that won’t switch off

• A knot in your stomach that never goes away

• A deep sense of unease you can’t quite explain

• Feeling overwhelmed by the smallest decisions or tasks

• The urge to escape or withdraw from people and places

• Shame for feeling this way like you “should be able to cope”

  
  

Let’s explore what anxiety often looks like emotionally and physically.

Emotionally anxiety might feel like:

• A constant sense of dread as though something bad is about to happen

• Racing thoughts particularly at night when everything is quiet

• Irritability or restlessness without knowing why

• Feeling overwhelmed by ordinary tasks

• Avoiding situations or people “just in case” something goes wrong

• Struggling with self-doubt over-apologising or perfectionism

• Shame or frustration for being anxious in the first place

  
  

Physically anxiety might feel like:

• A pounding heart or chest tightness

• Shortness of breath or shallow breathing

• A churning stomach nausea or digestive upset

• Muscle tension in the jaw shoulders or back

• Shaky hands sweaty palms or a jittery feeling

• Difficulty sleeping or waking up tired despite rest

• Headaches dizziness or a sense of heaviness in the body

  
  

It’s important to remember that anxiety is not “just in your head”. It affects your whole nervous system and how safe or unsafe your body feels throughout the day. However it shows up for you anxiety is real and it deserves care and understanding.

What’s Happening in Your Brain and Body

Understanding why anxiety happens can be deeply validating, especially if you’ve ever blamed yourself for being “too sensitive” or “too much”.

Here’s what’s going on beneath the surface:

Your brain has a region called the amygdala. It’s often referred to as the brain’s alarm system. Its job is to detect danger and protect you. When it senses a threat even a small one it triggers your body’s fight flight or freeze response.

This response is automatic. It floods your system with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol preparing your body to either defend itself run or shut down. This is what causes the physical symptoms of anxiety, racing heart tight chest muscle tension nausea and more.

This system evolved to protect us from life-threatening danger. But in the modern world the same response can be triggered by:

• Work stress or deadlines

• Social situations or public speaking

• Past trauma or unresolved emotional wounds

• Feeling judged criticised or not in control

• Even internal thoughts or memories

  
  

Over time especially if you’ve experienced trauma or chronic stress your nervous system can become over-sensitised. It stays in “survival mode” even when you're safe.

This doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your brain is doing its best to protect you. It’s just been stuck in overdrive. And the good news is you can learn to calm this response and feel safe again.

Why It Isn’t Your Fault

One of the most painful things about anxiety is the belief that it’s somehow your fault, that you should be able to “snap out of it” or “pull yourself together”.

But here’s the truth: Anxiety is not a character flaw. It’s a nervous system response. You didn’t choose it and you’re not choosing to stay stuck in it either.

Many factors can influence how and why anxiety shows up:

• Genetics and family history

• Childhood environment or early attachment

• Past trauma or grief

• Perfectionism or high internal pressure

• Being highly sensitive or emotionally attuned

• Long-term stress or burnout

  
  

None of these make you weak. They make you human. And healing doesn’t come from trying harder, it comes from understanding yourself with compassion and getting the right support.

How Therapy Can Help

The good news is that anxiety is manageable. With the right therapeutic support you can begin to feel more grounded resilient and in control.

Therapy offers a safe space to:

• Understand your anxiety, where it comes from and how it functions

• Identify triggers and patterns that keep you feeling stuck

• Learn practical tools to calm your body and regulate your nervous system

• Challenge unhelpful thoughts and develop healthier ways of coping

• Heal underlying emotional wounds that may be fuelling anxiety

• Build self-compassion so you can relate to yourself with more kindness and less shame

  
  

You don’t need to fix yourself - because you’re not broken. Therapy helps you reconnect with your strengths and develop a gentler relationship with your thoughts emotions and body.

Over time many people find that therapy not only reduces anxiety but also improves self-esteem relationships and overall wellbeing.

If you’re struggling with anxiety please know this:

You are not alone You are not weak You are not failing

You’re doing the best you can with the tools and experiences you’ve had and it’s ok to ask for help. You deserve to feel safe in your body at peace in your mind and supported in your healing.

Therapy is not about being fixed. It’s about being seen heard and supported as you learn new ways to cope connect and come back to yourself.

Ready to take the next step?

If this blog resonated with you and you’re curious about how therapy might help I’d love to support you. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed burnt out or just tired of doing it all alone you don’t have to stay stuck.

Visit: www.asensetherapy.co.uk to arrange your free initial 15 minute telephone consultation.

Let’s explore how therapy can help you feel calmer safer and more in control again.

Now accepting clients Near Aylesbury, Bucks and online.